It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
