is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
