well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
