is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
