I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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