Well douche your snatch and let's go!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
It's shark week go big or go home
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
