You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
