Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
