and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
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