Banned from zoo.
Again?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
