Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
