i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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