Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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