That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I think I died a long time ago.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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