So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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