At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
