allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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