i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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