Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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