Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
