I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I need to calm my uterus...
I just gargled with NyQuil
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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