why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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