mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
