i was born a porn star she said
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
