That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
im six kinds of drunk right now
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
