Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
