Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
