My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
