i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
