i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
