lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I love you. Go after that dick
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
