He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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