I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
