Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
