The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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