I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
