matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
