well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
