Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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