Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
