She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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