either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
