people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Girls should come with a carfax report
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
