I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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