Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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