Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
