shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize