I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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