Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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