maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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