While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
