why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Randomize
