We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
ttyl tear gas
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
