I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I need a burrito and a hug.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
